Ask questions

Remember the one thing you are doing a lot of when you ask questions is listening and when you are listening you are not talking. If you can run off at the mouth like me, on a first date you need to take a very keen interest in your date and ask plenty of questions.

Here’s three

What do you do for work?

This allows a person to talk about something they either like or they don’t like but as they spend forty hours a week there it gives you some ideas about what they have chosen to do with their life.

If you are a lady and you know about salaries and wages, this question will tell you roughly how much your prospective mate is earning.

As a male I have to tell you that a male gets a big slice or his worthiness in the planet from the job he does. Asking this question though it’s not very threatening will in some cases allow a male to open up and every lady likes a man to open up.

If you could do any job what would you like to do?

Many people are simply working in the only job they could get and many are not working in their chosen profession. This question allows a person to open up to their dashed dreams or for them to share the dreams that are still burning in their heart and it offers you a deeper glimpse into a person’s personality.

If you could be president for a week what would you change?

This can open all sorts of things but if you ask it with a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye you will allow the person to really reach into their heart and show you pieces of themselves.

Ask questions about their answers and probe them the explain why they say what they say in their answers

Honestly I have had people speak for forty minutes to me before they tell me that they have to stop talking as they are feeling that they have been speaking forever and this person is thinking you are one of the very best listeners they have ever met.

Take an interest in the answers and probe and probe, you only have one date you might as well understand what a software engineer really does and how he spends his day.

People love to speak. People like to be heard and people like to know another person is taking a deep and meaningful look at them. Life can be so lonely and some people don’t get the chance to let go of some steam and talk about such things, make it a memorable night for them. Let you date leave thinking they spoke too much and you are a great listener. And without knowing it, they might even think you really are interested.

Everyone will tell you not to talk about past relationships but everyone does.

So my third tip is to

Tell you date four to five things you have learned from you last partner

Share with your date not all the negative that you had in your last relationships but share with them the changes and decisions that are positive in your life since you dated them.

If you were always giving and your date was always using you tell your date that you are still going to be giving and generous but you will be expecting future men to appreciate it in genuine and life affirming ways.

And spend hours and hours and find that five. Put a positive spin on the last relationship and tell them in a candid way that you are happy you have learned your lessons and now things are different.

I share “five positive and spiritual lessons I learned from my divorce” in an article on my articles page, check it out from the link below for some ideas.

Take the time to share you childhood dreams with your date and your real goals now.

This is similar to talking about your job but its bigger then this. This is a little about me for instance. One day I plan to have 1000 live articles and 5000 people reading them each week and I am already working on three other books besides the one I have two weeks away from being printed. In the future I plan to preach in churches and light fires in the minds of the worshippers and teach people to have a more active, fulfilling and exciting relationship with God. One day I Request personal prophecy plan to be one of the most requested speakers in Australia and what’s more three people have confirmed this is my future in prophecy.

So I might not be the most requested speaker in the country in the next five years, but within the next six months I will have another 150 articles to my 150 already. And within that six months my second book will be rolling off the press and half of the third have been written. What’s more all of my books will be in chapters and all of those chapters will be free to read as articles on this site on the net. Freely I have received, freely I give.

I have waited for 25 years to reach this point in my life and I have a write about.

A person will love to hear your goals and many of them will get caught up with the excitement. If you haven’t goals, maybe you should get some before you go dating.

Be honest

If you feel they are too fat for you, that they don’t have table manners that you can cope with or that their simply seems no chemistry tell your date the truth. Tell them what you are looking for and if you have given them a good night you might be surprised they might send someone your way. In this case you would get a second date just not with them.

But I beg of you, be honest. If a person asks you a question don’t shrink back from the truth with a lie, boldly tell them you can’t answer that at the moment or tell them the God’s honest truth.

When asked what I do for work by people I meet I have no shame in saying I am on a disability pension and I write five online articles a week for and that I have just published my first book. I am not ashamed of my mental illness, my restrictions for work and the life I am living. In fact three ladies online who have contacted me and let me know that they would like to marry me. So I must be appearing as some sort of good role model.

If life has dealt you a cruel blow, don’t be afraid of sharing that with your date, but look on the bright side as you share it. Tell them that you could have lied to them and that you admire honesty and so you have given them the honest truth. The truth might strike you out, but you might hit a home run with that honesty also.

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